“Stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there.”
Eckhart Tolle
Research has shown that meditation reduces anxiety, but being mindful of our stress and worry is sometimes the last thing we want to do. When I used to sit in meditation, I would notice my racing thoughts and shallow breath, feel the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach, and then get snarled in self-doubt about how I wasn’t doing it “right.” I desperately wanted to get to the place where my mind was still and at peace, but every time I sat with myself, it would add fuel to the fires of my overthinking.
However, I knew intuitively that if I were able to be present, my life would transform. I was right. Nothing I have ever done (workshops, exercise, diet) has ever compared to the benefits of mindfulness. It is the ultimate path to freedom from painful emotions and an overactive mind.
Studies show that mindfulness, when done correctly, rewires the brain. It improves mood, attention, and wellbeing. It lowers cortisol which leads to a calm, less reactionary way of life. Plus, research indicates the benefits are long term. People that practice mindfulness on a regular basis have healthier relationships, and have more success at work.
Although I didn’t have a roadmap, through trial and error, I found five paths to a mindfulness practice that was rooted, centered, and allowed me to become more relaxed and resilient.
Acceptance
Tara Brach, a leader in mindfulness, has a great meditation on acceptance and self-compassion. In this meditation, she uses a RAIN approach that includes the following steps: Recognize what is going on; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nourish with self-compassion. Acceptance and self-compassion are the foundations of mindful healing practice. I highly recommend this meditation when you’re first starting out.
Don’t Over-Meditate
Dr. Patricia Carrington says over-meditation, or forcing yourself to sit for long periods, can be very harmful. It is best to start off slow and meditate with a guide, teacher, or someone experienced so that you’re not causing more harm than good. However, if that is not possible, then using guided meditations are the next best thing. There are many free meditations on YouTube and great apps like HeadSpace or Mindfulness (my personal favorite). You can begin with something as short as a 90 second meditation or go up to 5 minutes. Here is a short, guided meditation for anxiety that I find particularly useful for beginners.
Grounding
One way to ground is by doing the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. This practice is especially helpful during a stressful business meeting or other situation in which you need to reduce anxiety.
- List 5 things you see
- Describe 4 things you feel
- Identify 3 things you hear
- Name 2 things you smell
- Think of 1 thing you like about yourself
Another excellent meditation for anxiety involves placing your awareness on your lower extremities. This is called grounding because it allows you to feel a sense of being centered and anchored.
- It is best to do this meditation sitting in a chair with your back in an upright position. Place your feet on the floor, your palms on your knees or in your lap, and close your eyes.
- Take a big inhale allowing your breath to flow all the way down into your hips, and exhale with an “ah” sound releasing every last drop of air.
- Notice the way the ground feels underneath your feet and how supported you are by the chair. With the awareness of being fully supported, you can let go of any tension and relax completely, allowing yourself to melt.
- Continue to breathe and with each exhale melt a little deeper.
- Start off practicing for 3-5 minutes and increase from there.
Give Your Busy Mind Something To Do
Another way to calm an overactive mind is to give it something to focus on that requires the left side, or language part of your brain, to be busy. The most popular techniques for this is counting the breath. It is a simple technique that involves counting every breath on the out breath. When you lose track, you start back at zero. It can be entertaining and rewarding to notice how far you can count without losing track and to see how much you improve your focus.
Using a mantra, or a word, statement or sound said repeatedly, is a well-known ancient Vedic technique for quieting the mind. One of the most powerful and well-known mantras is OM or AUM. It is a Hindu or Sanskrit word for “it is.” Yogis believe it is the vibration of universal consciousness. A 5-minute OM meditation is below.
Try Experimenting with Different Senses
Due to past unresolved trauma, when I first began meditation, I was not able to be in my body without increasing anxiety. However, when I started to focus on things outside of myself, I noticed peace start to wrap me up in its cozy embrace. Sounds have always been my healing medium, whether through music or listening to the ocean. Therefore, the below meditation called ‘Big Sky’ by Jack Kornfield, which focuses on the play of sound was the ultimate beginner’s meditation for me.
You will find the most benefit from starting a practice that is comfortable and building from there. After consistently practicing present moment awareness, I began to accept my thoughts, my emotions, and myself. I could then apply this acceptance all types of stressful situations, which decreased my resistance to whatever was going on.
If you’re practicing all of these techniques on your own and still struggling, it might be best to see a meditation teacher or a therapist trained in mindfulness-based therapy techniques. Everyone has a different path to experiencing the benefits of mindfulness. Although the road for me was a long, twisted, and challenging one- it was worth every step.